Gone with the wind...

Hey... super super stresses out with my school and work and church...
I've never had it so hard...

My work is really piling up and the economy is really not making anything easier... People are tense... taking more risk and on my side, there are more procedures and jobs to do... Give me a break... i'm literally working weekends too with my phone ringing... why does technology have to be so high tec? I even have to go to my company acct from home to work on weekends... this is so not what i sign up for... I hate my job... urghhhhh.... arghhhh... i wanna scream...

My school is crazy... it's assignments after assignments... i just completed my run of 4 TMAs in 12 days... now, i've to do another 3 more TMA in less than 2 weeks again... i haven't even had time to settle down and study anything yet... it's just assignments after each other... urghhhh.... and it's so tough... i don't even have time to think... i'm staying back during lunch to do them... I don't think i've ever worked my brains so hard... And after work, i still have to rush to school to attend class... after i come back, i'm already so so tired... but i need to spend time to do my assignments and talk to my parents too... i don't have time... huh....

Weekends are filled with camp stuff and RR... i really am feeling very very strain... To put on a mask every day... huh... i feel like taking it off and just show the ugly side of me... I hate myself so much now...

And weekends are my only time with Ber... i don't meet him at all during weekdays... because of his school... and mine as well... Even when we talk during weekdays, it's just 2-3 mins cause we're both either studying or at least for me... trying to shut off my minds for awhile and not have to feel and think about anything... to just sit in front of a box for maybe 30 mins before i sleep... exhaustion...To balance time for him when i need some for my own... it's... huh... i'm starting to wonder if i'm maybe better off alone... at least i won't be such a lousy and unsupportive gf... full of mood swings and emotionally driven... Ber needs someone who can stand by him... to help him and show a good example for the youth to follow... i used to think i can... but i feel myself drifting further and further... i can't seem to catch up with him anymore... He really souldn't have to worry about me... and not spending enough time with me... but i find myself always giving him problems and troubles... maybe it's not meant to be... maybe we're not trying hard enough... maybe i'm just to tired to think and feel anymore... Is it selfish of me? To be thinking for myself? to want some time for me? to want freedom and love? to want to feel fulfillment and achieve my dreams? to not want pple to tell me what i can and cannot do? Can i not lead my own life? I have lost my sense and direction... i can not see my future...

why can't i handle it better... why can't i be better... Ber says i knew what i was getting into when i sign up for my studies... i guess i did... so do i deserve it... where is the understanding? i guess i can't blame him... blame me blame me... just kill me...

Not going to update anymore... at least not till i've finish my semster... flooded with work...

Keane - Somewhere only we know

This song completely describes how i am feeling now...
simple faith... i need simple faith...

Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You

Rainbow connection - Jason Mraz cover

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.


Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.


All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...


... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

James morrison & Jason Mraz

I bought 2 CD yesterday... James morrison and Jason Mraz... :)
I think they are great... every single song in their CD, was written by them... :)
Wow... :) their music is very guitar base and very unique... :)
Love it... :)

Love Fest... :)

First time ever, the YA (young adults) organised a valentines day dinner for the youths. :) Eric invited Qiuyi and i double invited her... so she finally came to spend that night with us... :)

my bro mc the event... lots of good compliments went his way... :)

I had to help to do the reception... wish i could have keeping Qiuyi company... but she was really understanding... anyway, once i was done with that duty, i got to spend the rest of the time with her... :)

We had dinner, played games... and got to know one another better... Haha...
I learnt 3 things that no one knows abt Qiuyi...

1) Qiuyi doesn't like to eat rice
2) Qiuyi sleep at least 8 hrs a day
3) Qiuyi sleeps with her little red dog that she has had since a kid...
(it's a doll) :p

She also won miss love fest... :) she wrote a statement abt abt our friendship... :)
Really touched my heart... :)

"2 complete strangers (JL & I) met on the street one day and have been friends ever since! She re-introduced God to me and has always been willing to offer a listening ear. On the day we met, we taled for hours without shyness and there has been no looking back... :)"

Indeed, there has been no looking back... :) Our friendship is something that God gave to me... like a susprised gift... i never thought i could meet such a good friend on the street thru EE... :) I can always count on you as well to talk to and just chit chat without shyness... :) I'm so blessed to have you in my life... with no regrets ever... :)

Qiuyi, u are no light bulb k? i really am very very very happy u came... u made the whole day so much happier and brighter for me... :) I'm no believer of V-day so the fact that u came, it's a celebration of our friendship love... :)





I don't actually believe in V day. I feel that u don't need a special day to tell someone you like them... anyday can be valentines day. And i feel that V day is just a gimmick for pple to shoot up prices to earn money... But... Ber bought me flowers this year... haha... ummm... if i say i not happy is bluff one... of course i'm happy... a bit embarass too... but next time no need la k? it's the heart that counts... :) know that u love me... :)



For more photos... Click here...Thanks grace for some of the photos here... :)

Thai Express

Me and Mel went to eat Thai express at Raffles City... :)
It's so easy, enjoyable and comforting to spend time with mel... guess when you really become very good friends with someone, you can let all ur guards down and just enjoy the moment... :)

Yummy... i really like the Prawn Toast... :)
yum yum... it's really nice, but it's a bit oily la...
The pineapple fried rice and the Phat Thai Talay was really nice too...
I'm really satisfied with the food... never fails to keep me satisfied and happy after eating... :)



Steam tapioca



Fried Pineapple rice



Phat Thai Talay



Prawn toast



Tom yum soup