Gone with the wind...

Hey... super super stresses out with my school and work and church...
I've never had it so hard...

My work is really piling up and the economy is really not making anything easier... People are tense... taking more risk and on my side, there are more procedures and jobs to do... Give me a break... i'm literally working weekends too with my phone ringing... why does technology have to be so high tec? I even have to go to my company acct from home to work on weekends... this is so not what i sign up for... I hate my job... urghhhhh.... arghhhh... i wanna scream...

My school is crazy... it's assignments after assignments... i just completed my run of 4 TMAs in 12 days... now, i've to do another 3 more TMA in less than 2 weeks again... i haven't even had time to settle down and study anything yet... it's just assignments after each other... urghhhh.... and it's so tough... i don't even have time to think... i'm staying back during lunch to do them... I don't think i've ever worked my brains so hard... And after work, i still have to rush to school to attend class... after i come back, i'm already so so tired... but i need to spend time to do my assignments and talk to my parents too... i don't have time... huh....

Weekends are filled with camp stuff and RR... i really am feeling very very strain... To put on a mask every day... huh... i feel like taking it off and just show the ugly side of me... I hate myself so much now...

And weekends are my only time with Ber... i don't meet him at all during weekdays... because of his school... and mine as well... Even when we talk during weekdays, it's just 2-3 mins cause we're both either studying or at least for me... trying to shut off my minds for awhile and not have to feel and think about anything... to just sit in front of a box for maybe 30 mins before i sleep... exhaustion...To balance time for him when i need some for my own... it's... huh... i'm starting to wonder if i'm maybe better off alone... at least i won't be such a lousy and unsupportive gf... full of mood swings and emotionally driven... Ber needs someone who can stand by him... to help him and show a good example for the youth to follow... i used to think i can... but i feel myself drifting further and further... i can't seem to catch up with him anymore... He really souldn't have to worry about me... and not spending enough time with me... but i find myself always giving him problems and troubles... maybe it's not meant to be... maybe we're not trying hard enough... maybe i'm just to tired to think and feel anymore... Is it selfish of me? To be thinking for myself? to want some time for me? to want freedom and love? to want to feel fulfillment and achieve my dreams? to not want pple to tell me what i can and cannot do? Can i not lead my own life? I have lost my sense and direction... i can not see my future...

why can't i handle it better... why can't i be better... Ber says i knew what i was getting into when i sign up for my studies... i guess i did... so do i deserve it... where is the understanding? i guess i can't blame him... blame me blame me... just kill me...

Not going to update anymore... at least not till i've finish my semster... flooded with work...

Keane - Somewhere only we know

This song completely describes how i am feeling now...
simple faith... i need simple faith...

Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You

Rainbow connection - Jason Mraz cover

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.


Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.


All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...


... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

James morrison & Jason Mraz

I bought 2 CD yesterday... James morrison and Jason Mraz... :)
I think they are great... every single song in their CD, was written by them... :)
Wow... :) their music is very guitar base and very unique... :)
Love it... :)

Love Fest... :)

First time ever, the YA (young adults) organised a valentines day dinner for the youths. :) Eric invited Qiuyi and i double invited her... so she finally came to spend that night with us... :)

my bro mc the event... lots of good compliments went his way... :)

I had to help to do the reception... wish i could have keeping Qiuyi company... but she was really understanding... anyway, once i was done with that duty, i got to spend the rest of the time with her... :)

We had dinner, played games... and got to know one another better... Haha...
I learnt 3 things that no one knows abt Qiuyi...

1) Qiuyi doesn't like to eat rice
2) Qiuyi sleep at least 8 hrs a day
3) Qiuyi sleeps with her little red dog that she has had since a kid...
(it's a doll) :p

She also won miss love fest... :) she wrote a statement abt abt our friendship... :)
Really touched my heart... :)

"2 complete strangers (JL & I) met on the street one day and have been friends ever since! She re-introduced God to me and has always been willing to offer a listening ear. On the day we met, we taled for hours without shyness and there has been no looking back... :)"

Indeed, there has been no looking back... :) Our friendship is something that God gave to me... like a susprised gift... i never thought i could meet such a good friend on the street thru EE... :) I can always count on you as well to talk to and just chit chat without shyness... :) I'm so blessed to have you in my life... with no regrets ever... :)

Qiuyi, u are no light bulb k? i really am very very very happy u came... u made the whole day so much happier and brighter for me... :) I'm no believer of V-day so the fact that u came, it's a celebration of our friendship love... :)





I don't actually believe in V day. I feel that u don't need a special day to tell someone you like them... anyday can be valentines day. And i feel that V day is just a gimmick for pple to shoot up prices to earn money... But... Ber bought me flowers this year... haha... ummm... if i say i not happy is bluff one... of course i'm happy... a bit embarass too... but next time no need la k? it's the heart that counts... :) know that u love me... :)



For more photos... Click here...Thanks grace for some of the photos here... :)

Thai Express

Me and Mel went to eat Thai express at Raffles City... :)
It's so easy, enjoyable and comforting to spend time with mel... guess when you really become very good friends with someone, you can let all ur guards down and just enjoy the moment... :)

Yummy... i really like the Prawn Toast... :)
yum yum... it's really nice, but it's a bit oily la...
The pineapple fried rice and the Phat Thai Talay was really nice too...
I'm really satisfied with the food... never fails to keep me satisfied and happy after eating... :)



Steam tapioca



Fried Pineapple rice



Phat Thai Talay



Prawn toast



Tom yum soup

Worst steamboat ever...

Me, Eric and Ber went to eat steamboat near my work place... my goodness... it's the worst ever... i don't think i will ever go back... the service was okie... but the variety of food were little and they were not fresh... their fried food were cold and their wanton and dumplings were not nice... :/ never going back...
When we left, only then did i realised that the shop i wanted to bring ber and eric was just next door... we went to the wrong one... arghhhhh.... Eric says he will not have steamboat for the next 6 mths after this... i felt so horrible.. :(

Din Tai Feng

I went with my cousin, Mei lian on wednesday to go eat Din Tai Feng... :)
Yummy... their Dan dan mee, prawn pancake and xiaolong bao is really good... yummy... :)
I only sad they don't have the fried dumpling... so we settled for the steam dumplings... but they taste almost like the xiaolong bao... oh well...
I miss the fried dumpling me and Ber had in Thailand... wow... that was the best... :)

Had a good time talking to my cousin... haha... we even shared our most embarassing moments... hope to do this more often... when she is not so busy... and also hope to help her improve her relationship at home... but... :/ i also don't know how to help... :/

Anyway, photos of food from Din Tai Feng... :)



Steam dumplings



Prawn pancake



Dan dan mee




Meat bun



Xiao long bao...

CNY 2009

Every CNY, it's chinese custom to "Loh Hei".
It's a dish that has lots of different types of shredded vegetables, lime, sweet sauces, pepper, spices and most importantly raw fish. It's a dish that represents all our wishes for the year ahead and as we all stand up and mix the salad up, we shout out our wishes for the year ahead... :) This is one of my favorite dishes... yummy... when i think of CNY, i think of this dish... :) You can "Loh Hei" with your family, colleges and friends... :)
Wishing everyone a good year ahead... :)

Guys and instruments...

There is just something about guys and instruments that really gets me...
I think guys, who plays instruments, Piano, Guitar are just plain attractive and sexy...
Especially when they are focus... wow...

Introducing John Mayer... :)

Charlie Brown: Favorite songs... :)

Found a few more scene that are really memorable... :)

Charlie Brown: Happiness is....

I love this scene... i have this song downloaded in my mp3...
This is my favorite Charlie brown scene... :)
I remember watching this with my family when i was young... :)
I really miss the days...
This song makes everything sound so simple... :)
Enjoy... :)



CHARLIE BROWN:
(Spoken)
I'm so happy. That little red-headed gril dropped her pencil.
It has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles her pencil.
She's human! It hasn't been such a bad day after all.

(Sung)
HAPPINESS IS FINDING A PENCIL.

SNOOPY:
PIZZA WITH SAUSAGE

LINUS:
TELLING THE TIME.

SCHROEDER:
HAPPINESS IS LEARNING TO WHISTLE.

LINUS:
TYING YOUR SHOE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

SALLY:
HAPPINESS IS PLAYING THE DRUM IN YOUR OWN SCHOOL BAND.

CHARLIE BROWN:
AND HAPPINESS IS WALKING HAND IN HAND.
HAPPINESS IS TWO KINDS OF ICE CREAM.

LUCY:
KNOWING A SECRET.

SCHROEDER:
CLIMBING A TREE.

CHARLIE BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS FIVE DIFFERENT CRAYONS.

SCHROEDER:
CATCHING A FIREFLY.
SETTING HIM FREE.

CHARLIE BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS BEING ALONE EVERY NOW AND THEN.

ALL:
AND HAPPINESS IS COMING HOME AGAIN.

CHARLIE BROWN:
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAY TIME AND NIGHT TIME TOO.
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT'S LOVED BY YOU.

LINUS:
HAPPINESS IS HAVING A SISTER.

LUCY:
SHARING A SANDWICH.

LUCY AND LINUS:
GETTING ALONG.

ALL:
HAPPINESS IS SINGING TOGETHER WHEN DAY IS THROUGH,
AND HAPPINESS IS THOSE WHO SING WITH YOU.
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAYTIME AND NIGHTTIME TOO.

CHARLIE BROWN:
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT'S LOVED BY YOU.

(The cast filters out, waving "good night" to Charlie Brown, but Lucy stays,
and and stands in silence for a moment before finally saying:)

LUCY:
You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

- He smiles, and the lights go down -

Harvey Milk

Today for the first time, i went to watch a movie with my bro... haha...
Not bad la... he is quite a good company... it didn't feel weird...
i hope he felt the same... :)

Anyway, we watch the movie "Milk". This movie in summary, is about gay rights, everyone regardless of their sexuality shld have equal rights. Harvey milk is the first openly gay to be elected into office. He was the supervisor of San Fransico then. He help to bring an end to the proposition 6, which was a new law which would ban pple who are gays to teach. I watch the movie with great interest and this is based on a true story.

I personally don't have a disapprovement towards gay people despite my religion.
I mean, i feel that this is not up to us to judge. It's God's judgement. We should just treat them as how we would treat everyone else. It's not for us to judge their lives. We can tell them what we may think is right and wrong, but ultimately, i think it's still their decision and whatever it is, we still should respect and love them. But that is my thinking. Everyone has rights to their own thoughts. :)

Anyway, i think Harvey Milk was a great man. He stood up for what he believed in. Not everyone could have done that. And like what Emile Hirsch who played Clives Jones said in an interview. He was no saint. But he was a great man who played a great significant part in America's history. He gave people hope.

Trailer:




Poster & interviews:

"FIN" Restaurant

After dating for 3 years plus, sometimes, the relationship can become a bit tiresome and monotonous... needed to feel that i was appreciated and needed. I mean i know he loves me... i have no doubt... and i love him... but i want romance in it... i dont want our relationship to just pass us by. No courtship. It's an experience, a process...
Think i'm starting to blabber... :(
Anyway, after me and ber again had a long talk abt this, he made an effort and ask me out on a date... :)
He brought me to a restaurant that i have been wanting to go to for sometime... :)
He actually remembered... :) I was happy... It's near GV Marina Square, It's called "Fin"
The food is good... :) I would give it 3.5 - 4/5 stars over all. The calamari was really nice... i love it... :)
Go try la if u have time... :)

Outing with Qiuyi

We met up, we shared, we ate and we had fun...
Till next time... :) soon...

Teochew Porriage

I have been looking thru my camera album... suddenly realised i have a lot of photos not posted... :p...
Better post before i forget what they are about... actually i already forgot the dates... :)
But this is me and Eric... We went to Suntec, near the conference hall downstairs to eat Teochew porriage buffet before heading off to my place for dinner... :)




We walked around and saw a few Christmas trees.. :) Keke... i really like the one made up of soft toys... :)

Dinner at my place...

Eric and Ber came to my place sometime back for dinner...
Came across the photos today and decided to put them up... :)
My daddy's great cooking as usual... :)
We ate up all his prawns and Eric was really pleased and happy with it...
Haha... :)
Let do this again sometime... :) k guys?

The best mum in the world...

Watch the video... Wow... i'm suddenly am in awe of what my mum does... :)
She is the best... i love you mum...

Nuttin But Stringz

Frankly, i have never been a fan of violin...
In fact, i don't really like the sound of it. If played badly, it would sound like someone killing a chicken... but... but... (let me finish) i have change my mind... after watching America's got talent on TV with my mum, wow... they are amazing... watch for yourself... i would pay to watch them perform... they are great...
They both attended the legendary Juilliard School of Music in New York City.

A blessing

Today is CNY first day... family day. I stayed home all morning waiting for my relatives from my dad's side to come over. We had a good time eating CNY goodies, my dad's popular porridge and watching Chicken and Duck Talk 雞同鴨講... :) Well, my dad was kinda of wishing we could not spend soo much time watching but talk more to one another... So in the end, i am going to organise a BBQ in march for my whole family again so we can talk more... :)

After, i went to Bernard's side, we took quite a lot of photos hopefully his uncle will sent me, then i can post them... :)

Anyway, the reason for my post is not any of this... i met his sister today... i think the 3rd time in the 3 yrs i have been with ber... keke... she said something that today that well, made me think...

Blessing, she felt really bless to have met her bf in her church so she feels bless that both side are christians. :) So no pressure... i never really thought about it this way... i guess it is the same for me as well... I'm bless that Ber's family and my family have known each other for a long time in church. So not really pressurised or worried cause his parents literally have seen me grown up... keke... so yup yup... it is indeed a blessing... Thank you Lord... :)

Youth steamboat reunion 2009

This year, the youth did something different... We had our very first steamboat reunion... haha... wow... :)
The event was very successful, much to the help of the youth leaders who have plan from scatch... Thanks guys... it was really good... :)
I help design and decorated my very first CNY deco on the roof top where we were holding our steamboat... :) Thanks everyone especially grace, michelle for helping me put everything up and also meldred who help contributes to some of the ideas... :)

Here are some of the photos from last night... :) (ThanksLi Ji and Grace for the photos... )
enjoy... :)